It’s been a while since my last post (had planned and written something else, just didn’t feel like publishing it, although that may change later), and, as expected, a few things have changed since then.
For one, the new semester has started at my college, and I’m only taking one class; an economics course which I didn’t do so well in last semester and am hoping to improve my grade this time. However, it looks as though I may have to drop it so that I can work more, or get a different job as I’m applying to many places at the moment.
In other things that have gone not so well, my mom has commented to me that she really hates my transition and is just going along with it since she thinks I’ll get out of it sometime soon. I just feel so back stabbed and down because of this, since she was acting like it wasn’t that big of a deal anymore and was helping me with things relating to my transition recently. So now I feel I have to worry about having increased tension with her, which is why I’ve been looking at apartments to rent. So far, I’ve only found a few that I would be able to afford, but luckily however, they seem to be pretty close to where I live now.
Its not been all bad, however! A couple weekends ago went to Ohayocon and had a great time! This time I didn’t quite spend as much money as my last convention; with the only thing I bought being a Hatsune Miku plush. I had originally planned on cosplaying two times this convention, but Inori from Guilty Crown cosplay I ordered seemed like a bad material and was a little small, so I ended up only cosplaying Miku. Hopefully for the next con I’ll have a different cosplay to wear, preferably Rem (Re: Zero) since I had originally planned to get a Rem cosplay at first.
Last night, I stayed up until around 2 am eastern watching the results of the election, constantly trying to hold at least a little hope that Hillary would pull through and win. But, alas, it didn’t happen and has left me afraid for my future, everyone who is lgbt+s’ future, and the country as a whole. Donald Trump has been openly anti-lgbt+ (even while hold up a rainbow flag, like that makes much difference) and I worry what this means towards marriage equality and people like me who are transitioning.
I understand some of the reasons why people would vote for Trump, but even so, I am downright terrified about what’s going to happen to transgender rights with his presidency. I’ve heard some people claim it will be just like going back to the George W. Bush days, so hopefully we’ll all be able to go through these times like people did then, but I’m still nervous. Personally, I was planning on going full time at work (already full time at school) at the beginning of the year, but with this news it makes me want to sooner so I can hopefully be more prepared and actually be able to get my legal documents changed to female.
With all this in mind though, I have calmed down a bit from when I first realized Trump was probably going to win. I seriously thought about going out and buying a bunch of sleeping pills since I was so depressed with the news. I’ve gotten a bit better now though, with the help of reading about how I can definitely still go out of country to get surgeries that are cheaper, and with the hope that the president after Trump will hopefully be more lgbt+ friendly and better for the country as a whole.
In the meantime, however, I’ll try not to improve my mood by just impulse buying clothes and another cosplay online.
This is my first blog, and with it will come come difficulties in the writing and idea generating portions of it, so I hope anyone who will actually read this will keep that in mind. My name is Alexis and I am a 21 years old transgender girl trying to work through difficulties of college and work, but who doesn’t have those difficulties anyway. (And if you didn’t get it from the URL I also like anime).
I am starting this blog mainly to write about my ideas on different things and about events that happen in my life which I think are worthwhile to write down here. So, in a way I guess this blog is sort of an open diary with my ideas being written down for anyone who wants to look at them.
Because of this, I suspect many of the posts will be about the struggles I am having in life whether through work and college or my transition (only been on hormones for 2 months at this point), but hopefully they will be nearly all happy/informational/inspiring in the near future.