Making Up for Lost Time

It has been quite a while (nearly 8 months or so but who’s counting) since my last post and, obviously, many things have happened.  From spending time with my boyfriend (yes, someone actually asked me and wanted to date me somehow) to hours spent away at work or looking for different work, I just haven’t really felt like making any blog posts. There were a few times where I would get on, think to myself “hey, I should go write about some of the stuff that’s happening” and then almost immediately go onto doing other things like playing video games or just getting distracted by some nonsense.

On the school and class side of things, there have been no real new developments at all, and at this point I’m unsure of whether or not I will even take any fall classes. If I end up taking one or two classes, they will almost certainly end up being online classes since that’s what would work best with my current and probable schedule in the future.

Speaking of my schedule, it’s absolutely and completely messed up! On most days I end up doing things with my boyfriend until early in the morning and usually end up waking up somewhere around 1-2 pm in the afternoon. I know this isn’t really healthy and will have to change with most jobs i could get later on but I just love spending time with him I don’t really want to stop.

Going on to some of my cosplay ideas, I’m going to be attending Matsuricon in a few weeks and have gotten most of the stuff ready for my Astolfo cosplay (Fate/Apocrypha). I was thinking about doing both the casual and normal cosplay’s of him but I’m probably going to end up just doing his normal outfit since there’s not much time left.  Still not sure on the day I’ll wear it but it’ll probably end up being Saturday like I usually do. Otherwise I also have a new partial (as in no wig) Rem cosplay so if I can get a wig in time I might wear that on Friday.

Also I’m playing on Fate/Grand Order so if you want to add me here’s my friend ID: 293,914,377


Weekend Thought’s

It’s been a while since my last post (had planned and written something else, just didn’t feel like publishing it, although that may change later), and, as expected, a few things have changed since then.

For one, the new semester has started at my college, and I’m only taking one class; an economics course which I didn’t do so well in last semester and am hoping to improve my grade this time.  However, it looks as though I may have to drop it so that I can work more, or get a different job as I’m applying to many places at the moment.

In other things that have gone not so well, my mom has commented to me that she really hates my transition and is just going along with it since she thinks I’ll get out of it sometime soon. I just feel so back stabbed and down because of this, since she was acting like it wasn’t that big of a deal anymore and was helping me with things relating to my transition recently. So now I feel I have to worry about having increased tension with her, which is why I’ve been looking at apartments to rent.  So far, I’ve only found a few that I would be able to afford, but luckily however, they seem to be pretty close to where I live now.

Its not been all bad, however! A couple weekends ago went to Ohayocon and had a great time! This time I didn’t quite spend as much money as my last convention; with the only thing I bought being a Hatsune Miku plush. I had originally planned on cosplaying two times this convention, but Inori from Guilty Crown cosplay I ordered seemed like a bad material and was a little small, so I ended up only cosplaying Miku. Hopefully for the next con I’ll have a different cosplay to wear, preferably Rem (Re: Zero) since I had originally planned to get a Rem cosplay at first.

Snowy Monday’s

Well, it’s been a few weeks since my last post (well, more like a month), and with the weather turning colder and starting to snow it seems like it is time for another post. It’s currently exam week and since two of my classes had papers instead of exams, I don’t really have much to do this week.  Instead, I’m trying to figure out whether or not to just take a break from college next semester since it now seems I won’t be able to afford many classes, just take 1 class at the university I’m at right now, or go back to community college like I was thinking about a while ago (though it’s probably too late to apply for next semester).

Except for the school issues, things seem to be heading in an even better direction than before. My mom seems to have finally gotten accustomed to my transition and helps me out a lot more and doesn’t try to antagonize me with it, which has made me much happier! Also, I’ve recently learned that my family is actually going out of town after Christmas, which means I actually won’t be alone for Christmas!

With the semester pretty much over for me at this point, I’m going to try to start writing more and making more posts. I’ll probably make a few things on anime over the next few weeks and whatever else is comes up, so hopefully I  won’t be MIA for the next month.

Better Feelings

In the days since my last post, things have calmed down and I’m feeling a little less nervous than I was last week, mainly due to the support of my family.  Since then, I’ve been trying to decide what I’m going to do for Christmas, since my sister is going to go visit relatives who are extremely unsupportive to my transition, and my mom is taking a trip to the Smokey Mountains with her fiance.  Right now my plan is to just stay home, try to make some extra money working on Christmas Eve, and try to see if anyone I know doesn’t have any plans either, so we’ll see how that goes.

Going into more depressing things, I finally got around to looking into the requirements into transferring into a finance degree, and they’re much tougher than I anticipated. To give some background info I have been in depression since the start of college, which led me to dropping out of multiple courses, failing or doing terribly (C-D grades) in classes, and just in general having a terrible time with schooling. Now, however, I have at least started feeling much less depressed (apart from this past week) and am finally trying to improve my future, but with this hurdle I really don’t know what to do. My first thought was to transfer to a community college and get an associates degree then try to transfer back for my bachelors, but I’m not sure how that would work with the school. I’ll call the school later to try to get an appointment to figure out everything (with my luck though they won’t have any openings until after Thanksgiving).

Now on to better news, I finally bought my pass to Ohayocon after about a month of procrastinating. Now all I have to do is to figure out which of my friends are actually going (since some bailed on me last time) and if my sister wants to go. Hopefully this will be figured out before hotel rates go up because that $95 dollars a night room looks much better than the ones for around $150.

I also had a bit of a derp moment last week. I for some reason decided to look at my prescription bottle and realized my doctor increased my dosage, which means for the past week and a half I’ve been taking 2 mg less than I was supposed to.

Feeling Terrible…

Last night, I stayed up until around 2 am eastern watching the results of the election, constantly trying to hold at least a little hope that Hillary would pull through and win. But, alas, it didn’t happen and has left me afraid for my future, everyone who is lgbt+s’ future, and the country as a whole. Donald Trump has been openly anti-lgbt+ (even while hold up a rainbow flag, like that makes much difference) and I worry what this means towards marriage equality and people like me who are transitioning.

I understand some of the reasons why people would vote for Trump, but even so, I am downright terrified about what’s going to happen to transgender rights with his presidency.  I’ve heard some people claim it will be just like going back to the George W. Bush days, so hopefully we’ll all be able to go through these times like people did then, but I’m still nervous. Personally, I was planning on going full time at work (already full time at school) at the beginning of the year, but with this news it makes me want to sooner so I can hopefully be more prepared and actually be able to get my legal documents changed to female.

With all this in mind though, I have calmed down a bit from when I first realized Trump was probably going to win.  I seriously thought about going out and buying a bunch of sleeping pills since I was so depressed with the news. I’ve gotten a bit better now though, with the help of reading about how I can definitely still go out of country to get surgeries that are cheaper, and with the hope that the president after Trump will hopefully be more lgbt+ friendly and better for the country as a whole.

In the meantime, however, I’ll try not to improve my mood by just impulse buying clothes and another cosplay online.


My plans…

This is my first blog, and with it will come come difficulties in the writing and idea generating portions of it, so I hope anyone who will actually read this will keep that in mind. My name is Alexis and I am a 21 years old transgender girl trying to work through difficulties of college and work, but who doesn’t have those difficulties anyway. (And if you didn’t get it from the URL I also like anime).

I am starting this blog mainly to write about my ideas on different things and about events that happen in my life which I think are worthwhile to write down here.  So, in a way I guess this blog is sort of an open diary with my ideas being written down for anyone who wants to look at them.

Because of this, I suspect many of the posts will be about the struggles I am having in life whether through work and college or my transition (only been on hormones for 2 months at this point), but hopefully they will be nearly all happy/informational/inspiring in the near future.